Transvestia

being overlooked by such wives is the fact that the human male being what he is in a society that is as it is cannot be perfect and he is almost certain to have some sort of primary fault or problem that she wishes he didn't have. And although I too have heard of wives and parents who have been able to say that they would rather that their husbands were drunkards or this or that rather than TVs, they don't know what they are talking about for the simple reason that problems close to us loom very large and those at a distance in the sense that they do not actually exist seem very small and relatively desireable by compar- ison. But if we were to get close to them we'd find them looming large too. Everything is relative.

My observation then is that I don't agree with the assertion that "marriage is not for TVs" For a specific few yes, but for most I think the situation cannot be made so inclusive. I certainly think that the wife should be well acquainted with TV not just theoretically but by practical experience before marriage is undertaken. And I think further that the TV husband and his fiancee should have some real understanding of what TV really is and what it really is NOT before taking the big step too. Armed with a decent, sensible awareness of it and a reasonable understanding of its nature, I think the marriage risk is no worse than it likely would be otherwise. I do think, however, that the TV should attempt equally hard to put himself in the wife's place psychologi- cally, (not just in her clothes) and look back at himself as husband, father, provider, image etc. It takes understanding both ways and this usually is not the case. The TV in effect says, "I have a need, you must learn to understand and live with it." If she makes some progress in that direction he thinks thats the end of it. He does not listen to her unspoken thought, "I too have a need and your need cuts across mine. I cannot deny your need and I will try to ac- comodate myself to it, but you must realize my pos- ition and my needs too and accomodate yourself too." The trouble with so many people both men and women

78